Thursday, 17 May 2007

Mischief... my arse!

This bloody strand of edgy films (yeah right) that I seem to have inherited is fast becoming ridiculous.

Just four days into the job, and I've had to attend a viewing today on the insistance of Jady, who has been responsible for looking after this latest batch of, quite frankly, squalid, seedy and above all else predictable flop docs.

According to Fifi, she's had a massive clash with the executive producer, but because its RDF I've been told we cannot risk further problems between Jady and the EP so I've been instructed to come in and make peace.

The film is really dowdy. It isn't in any way, shape or form aspirational. But nor is it shocking in a I-really-need-to-find-out-which-ugly-munter-she-convinces-to-shag-in-the-end kind of way. It's just a piece of shit: badly filmed, badly produced, and quite obviously badly exec'd.

I reassure the heavily pregnant - yet surprisingly sexy - EP that she has nothing to worry about. I tell her that Jady (from what I've been informed anyway) has been under some super-heavy stress of late with other projects and that, with a few minor tweaks, the film will get signed off without any further problems. Besides, I confess to her, Jady is still "new to the job", having only recently joined the Corporation from Manchester.

To cover myself, of course, I tell the EP that whilst they've done "an absolutely superb" job with what clearly was "tricky access", I reckon this might be the final film of this kind for My Channel. At this point the EP suddenly looks up very much aghast (I can just tell) and says that they have "at least" 3 more films like this in paid development, verbally commissioned by Julian and Jady only 6 weeks back.

I just nod a bit, look down at my fly, and make a mental note to have Jady fired at the earliest opportunity. I really can't be having her type looking after My Commissions. How she wangled a staff job here in the first place is beyond even me.

Perhaps she's a lesbian and let Fifi shag her one time too many...?

[Legal disclaimer: My views are entirely my own and not intended to insinuate that my boss is -or ever has been- a rampant carpet muncher]

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