Friday, 2 November 2007

Stabbed in the front

TO: Fifi01@Corporation.co.uk
FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
DATE: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 14:18:31 +0100
SUBJECT: RE: Corporation One Controller Application


Fifi

I’m stunned. Was there anything in particular that hindered my application?? I thought you had given me assurances last week that I had (and I quote) “a very strong chance of securing the position” especially having revitalised the Youth Channel with appointment-to-view squelchiness.

Despite this admittedly devastating setback, rest assured that I will continue to do the job I was hired for and re-energise the Youth Channel going forward.

Best wishes
TVC


TO: Hincksy@EndemolGlobalUKInc.Com
FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
DATE: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 14:21:14 +0100
SUBJECT: SHAFTED


Fucking asexual workman-like boot wearing stuffy bitch!!!!!!!!! Fifi has fucked me over for sure. And I cannot fucking believe they are even considering that Tranter witch over me!!!!!

Fuck!!!!!


TO: Herring@DarkLordPR.com
FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
DATE: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 14:25:02 +0100
SUBJECT: (No Subject)


I would like to formally terminate our 26-month Brand New Me contract. I am aware this will be to great financial cost to myself but I cannot continue with this marriage of convenience any longer, James.

It pains me to say that I feel badly let down by you and your agency’s inability to secure me the Top Job.

Ciao, and thanks for the memories,

TVC


TO: Headgirl@silverbollocks.com
FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
DATE: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 15:03:02 +0100
SUBJECT: RE: Swishing Format


Where were you when I needed you the most?????
TVC


TO: Roly01@Corporation.co.uk
FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
DATE: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 15:06:24 +0100
SUBJECT: RE: good luck today!


I thought I had your backing for the Top Job? The world is changing son, and I worry that you're going to be left well behind.

Fuck you,
TVC


TO: Yentob-personal@Corporation.co.uk
FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
DATE: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 15:07:24 +0100
SUBJECT: (No Subject)


Don't you have any fucking power left anymore? Or were you just humouring me over lunch last week??

TVC


TO: Beddell@Corporation.co.uk
FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
DATE: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 15:08:41 +0100
SUBJECT: RE: The Wall talent sign-off


Kleiny says you’re supporting Tranter over me??? Explain. Is this some RSC fucking drama mafia connection???

I’m bitterly disappointed in you

TVC


TO: personalassistant@Corporation.co.uk
FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
DATE: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 15:10:12 +0100
SUBJECT: (No Subject)


Anthony- get me Clifford on the fucking phone NOW! I need to get hold of some dirt on Tranter. And do NOT put any journos through to me, especially those cunts Glibson, Conlan and Norman.


TO: Rt Honourable James Purnell MP
FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
DATE: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 15:19:40 +0100
SUBJECT: Any openings?


Sir,

I would like to be considered for any future Ministerial posts that might become available in your department. As a young firebrand creative leader, I have all the necessary skills to be an asset in your team. (I also went to school with both the Milliband brothers).

Respectfully,
TVC


TO: Applications@HarvardBusinessSchool.Com
FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
DATE: Fri, 2 Nov 2007 15:23:01 +0100
SUBJECT: Fast track application?


Dear Sir / Madam

I would like to enquire about your Dual Semester Fast-track Advanced Senior Media Executive Consolidation and Expansion Course 2007/8. I am the Youngest Controller in British Broadcasting history (by 9 months) and I would like to find out if you could squeeze me on your new course starting next week?

Best wishes
TVC

2 comments:

English Dave said...

Coffee. Splutter. Keyboard. Fuck!

Anonymous said...

if you went to school with both the Milliband brothers, then you must be a bit older than 33.75years. Liar.