Thursday 1 November 2007

10 Reasons why I hate Glasgow

1. The helicopter ride was very fucking bumpy. I was sick twice.

2. It took over 30 minutes to drive from the airfield to the Corporation Scottish HQ!

3. Everyone looked cynical and very miserable.

4. No one laughed when I told my Aspen skiing trip joke.

5. Too many girls wearing cashmere

6. Angry atmosphere during Q+A - there is nothing worse than a shouty Scottish crowd when you've been on the road all morning.

7. Lack of ambition in their ideas for Corporation One during 60-second itchy pitch session.

8. Muriel Gray lives up here.

9. So does Hamish Barbour.

10. Even colder than fucking Manchester.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fucking grow up you english prick

Anonymous said...

Aye, nobody asked you to come here you english prick. If it's any consilation, i don't like Manchester, it's a right shithole.

Anonymous said...

ditto

Anonymous said...

Next time you come to Glasgow please let us know - so we can all form a procession to carry you into the city on our shoulders. Then after we have bathed and washed you in essential oils, fed you on the finest Scottish cuisine and whiskey...we will stick your unwashed Manc arse in a giant fucking wicker man in George Square and dance naked around it as the flames lick around you! Ok bit extreme (and a joke - know what that is?) - but next time just shut the fuck up or don't come back. Away and riot in Eng-er-land and don't soil our great city again. We didnt laugh because you're no funny ya dobber.

Anonymous said...

Typical english. Got something to say about whereever they go and think their country is gods gift. Try saying some of those thing whilst youre in Glasgow and you might get brought back down to earth you toff cunt!

Anonymous said...

(lol at the easily offended glaswegians who wrote the other comments)

i hate glasgow too, thank god i'm leaving in two months, never coming back, never EVER coming back.. what an awful dump of a place, a true shithole.

Anonymous said...

I’ve lived here all my life and I can give you 100 reasons to hate Glasgow. All of them are fare worse than your top ten. I’m looking to get out of this place because my list.

1. The helicopter ride was very fucking bumpy. I was sick twice. (yep the weather is shit)

2. It took over 30 minutes to drive from the airfield to the Corporation Scottish HQ! (yep the city sprawls all over the place hand makes no sense.)

3. Everyone looked cynical and very miserable. (It must have been a good day)

4. No one laughed when I told my Aspen skiing trip joke. (Your English so the default is to treat you like an arshole)

5. Too many girls wearing cashmere (The weather is shit and there probably a group of those trendy westendes how recycle but also badly drive an SUV, all-terrain, big fuck of tank cars. Everyone hates them.)

6. Angry atmosphere during Q+A - there is nothing worse than a shouty Scottish crowd when you've been on the road all morning. – your English and on a stage so the default is to be vile to your face.

7. Lack of ambition in their ideas for Corporation One during 60-second itchy pitch session. – The Scots only know how to bring people down, to stamp on the hopes and ambitions of others, the only creativity is in the way they do this.

8, 9 &10 are a bit too far, they aren’t that bad really….

Anonymous said...

There are many Glaswegians who have criminality and hate in their genes. Nearly all of Britains serial killers have come from Glasgow and its the murder capital of Europe, you cannot live there and not see violence. Also Glaswegians are not Scottish the word Scottish derives from the Scoti tribe who's modern descendants are the highlanders.