Monday, 25 October 2010

Jay Hunt's awful autumn slate

Oh. My. Fucking. Christ.

I've just had some dull 50 year old woman in my office (my Channel Commissioning Executive, apparently) pitching me the forthcoming autumn slate which Jay Hunt greenlit just before leaving.

Top of the list (!) is Alesha Dixon's new chat show which she promises me is going to 'go beyond chat to reveal the raw emotions of all her guests', and in a 'genius new twist' will feature a house band made up of ex-members of real famous bands.... Some Countryside Dreams series which allows ordinary members of the public a chance to win a job as a market stall holder in Wiltshire..... Some horrendous puffpiece with the nation's darling Gloria Hunniford traveling the world on the trail of the honey bee called Hunniford Hunts Honey...some yawn-tastic nature spin-off called Autumnwatch Goes Urban where the team are based in Coventry and will be showing the public the truth behind the secretive nightime world of rats.....A complicated studio interactive thing hosted by Gary Lineker... A disappointing paint-by numbers Dame Judy Dench drama series based on her life story...


I am going to have to slash and burn my way through this lot, because it simply will not suffice.

Where is the itchiness? Where is my voyeurtainment? Where is the drama? Hasn't anyone watched the youth channel output of the last 3 years, and seen what I've achieved?!! I have shown time and time again that we needn't shy away from uncomfortable topics (provided we have the right celebrity angle). We should be embracing the edgy mainstream - not simply being content in some wishy-washy shiny floor universe where people are always happy.

Where's the itchy posh-out-of-water formats like my outstanding footballer series which really highlighted the the important issues of living in a modern day slum?

I get on the blower to Tricky Dicky at Love and tell him to get a 10 x 60' edgy mainstream reality format on my desk by the end of the week. If anyone can transform a dire social issue into light entertainment, it's Tricky.


Stephen Gallagher said...

I get on the blower to Tricky Dicky at Love and tell him to get a 10 x 60' edgy mainstream reality format on my desk by the end of the week.

Tell him to make it 'noisy' while you're at it. Might as well cover all the bases.

Anonymous said...

Commissioning Briefings Update

Just a reminder of this autumn's briefings dates around the UK. We do hope you'll be able to join us. They're open to independent and in house producers and a great opportunity to hear the commissioning teams in discussion about what we're looking for and to find out how to hone your ideas to meet our wider ambitions for each of the genres and channels. You are welcome to attend any of the briefings, wherever you're based. All of the briefings are open, although we may need to restrict numbers from each company depending on demand, as space at each venue is of course limited. One-to-one meetings with members of the commissioning teams will be available and bookable on the day at most venues. More details of each briefing will be sent to attendees nearer the time

To register for any of the briefings, contact, with the name of the briefing in the subject line*.

* Factual and Entertainment briefings in London are by invitation only with one place per company for reasons of space. Invitations are being sent out next week. If you don't receive one but would like to be on the reserve list, book additional places or if you'd like to be considered next time please let us know.

If you can't make it do remember you can check on the development priorities for each genre on the Commissioning site at

Confirmed Briefing Dates and Venues are as follows:

Knowledge & Daytime: Belfast:

* Ulster Hall, 23rd November

Knowledge: London (invitation only)

* Royal Festival Hall, 25th November

Entertainment, London (invitation only)

* Location TBC, 1st December

Knowledge: Bristol

* Watershed Media Centre, 6th December


Entertainment in the Nations Commisioning Conference

* Glasgow, BBC Pacific Quay, 28th October with commissioning briefings and panel discussions (Please contact Breid McLoone on - very limited places still available.

Angela Chan,
Independent & Diversity Executive

Anonymous said...

You soundy like a snidey, slimey little talentless shit. Unforgivably though, your blog just isnt funny, no matter how much you seem to wish that it is. Be interesting to see how far you would get in a private organisation where you did not have a facade of public greater good to hide your lack of foresight, terrible writing style and lack of ideas.