[Personally I cannot wait for the extra cash to plow into innovative drama and spunky music entertainment with Zane Lowe]
She agrees with me that Storyville had long since ceased in its usefulness and been taken over by the predictable elitist artfilm wank brigade.
A bit like the Sheffield Documentary Festival.
I want my TV to be entertaining and fun and young. We should cater for The Kids, not a bunch of documentary obsessed rich Guardian-reading jacket&jeans-wearing white blokes... like me!
Our output must be inclusive. Welcoming. Multi-dimensional. And have 360 degree scope.
So before you militant old school snore-umentary makers start picketing my office, please note that I am distributing a questionnaire through my alt-focus group community network of websites (Bebo, Myspace, Friends Reunited, FaceFluff etc), plugging mainline into what Da Kidz think.
They will have the final say.
TV QUESTIONNAIRE (please send back for your chance to win a PS3)
1) Do you know what The Corporation is? (for a bonus point have you ever heard of some 'geezer bloke' called Mark Thompson?)
2) When was the last time you saw a Storyville documentary?
3) Do you remember the name of it? (for a bonus point can you correctly spell the name of aforementioned documentary film?)
4) When was the last time you were at a 'banging' party and someone said the following: "yo, man, did you catch that great Storyville thinkpiece about karaoke singing farmers in the Ukraine last night, innit?"
5) When was the last time you ever met someone who worked in TV that watched Storyville and tried to get you to Sky Plus it (for a tenner and some free fags)?
6) Do you give a shit and prefer to download DVDs and happy slap your friends?
Once the results have been collated I will distribute them to prove once and for all that NO-ONE OUTSIDE OF TV GIVES A FUCK ABOUT STORYVILLE.
Now, where did I put my dental floss??