Friday, 28 September 2007

Scouse bus shelter

One of the Corporation's comedy commissioning editors has just emailed me this:

FROM: Jon.Rolph02@Corporation.co.uk
TO: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
SUBJECT: Liverpool bus shelter sitcom issue

Hi TVC,

Bad news I'm afraid. Dave Longley's sitcom pilot set in a Liverpool bus shelter on a Sunday afternoon might need to be temporarily shelved.

I've just got word from Lee Martin, his agent, that he tried to crack a gag about Rhys Jones (the kid that got murdered) whilst doing stand-up in Liverpool and nearly got bottled as a result.

How do you want me to proceed with this highly charged situation?

Yours,
Jon

This situationalist sitcom is a cracking idea and I don't want to lose it. We have three hip, shouty, cool-as-fuck Scouse teenagers just hanging around in a bus shelter and every week their respective grandparents come by because they need to catch a bus to go to Bingo.

Often, the young people are still strung out on high-end drugs from partying at Cream the previous night. Hilarity ensures! There is no laughter track and the dialogue is very 'street' (much to the confusion of the elderlys).

Real generation gap material that My Audience will completely relate to (even if I don't).

FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
TO: Jon.Rolph02@Corporation.co.uk
SUBJECT: RE: Liverpool bus shelter sitcom issue

This is way too hot for the Corp right now. We don't need another Hillsborough or Boris Johnson fuck up. Fuck Longley. Go find me someone else who's funny and can patch this mess up.
Warm regards
TVC


It is paramount that the people of Liverpool don't get wind that the Youth Channel was ready to give Longley his TV break - that city has a nasty history of ganging up and holding grudges on the media.

(I hear Dave Gravy is one Scouser who still to this day refuses to buy The Sun)

The last thing I need is to be hated by the entire population of Liverpool!

2 comments:

AnTVC said...

I'm surprised you trust Rolf to find you a replacement. After all, he must be at least 50, and you usually junk anything he sends you as not being itchy/shouty/sticky/icky/gloopy/happy/cracky enough for Your Demographic.

Sally Lawton said...

If you'd like to see some sketches of a crazy stage-door groupie with attitude - I'd be happy to send them to you!