Monday, 3 September 2007


Karl Warner beware!

I am going to start a brand new focus group with a difference - none of them will be familiar with UK television. In fact, none of them will have ever have watched the Youth Channel before.

Tina has promised me that for a bargain sum (under £55k) I can have my pick of her 'Buzzspotting' team who will fly across the Atlantic to "start gathering bluesky intelligence on the British youth scene" for me.

(for an extra insurance premium of £10k The Buzzspotters will even spend a few days hanging out in Camden)

Can you imagine the valuable data we will get from a bunch of sixteen year-old Americans who've never seen Sex...with Mum & Dad or Freaky Eaters before?

Who are not familiar with our love of social-realism and gritty northern cop dramas? Or the edgy comedy (Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps) and breaking new subversive talent like Live! Girls! Present Dogtown which prove us Brits are still way ahead when it comes to creating much-loved and long-running comedy institutions.

Who know who "that Simon Cowell guy" is (but have never heard of Simon Mayo).

Tina has promised me a '10 Point Plan to Target the Youth' which I can easily translate into several must-see itchy as fuck entertainment formats.

I will be the envy of everyone in the Corporation!!

(And maybe Andrea Wong might even start returning my calls...)


BPP said...

Hello there! I've not visited your site for a while due to circumstances I'm not telling you about. In the interim I notice you've got a bit too big for your boots. Quotes from semi-famous celebrities? T-shirts? A cartoon? Who, sir, do you think you are? I liked it better when you were down in the gutter with the rest of us, not up there in your t-shirt filled ivory tower waggling your willy about like a big chimp. Who do you think you are? A sultan?

You've ruined the internet for everyone.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear this blog is getting really tedious.

The buzz has gone, the world has moved on.

You just seem like a sad obsessive with an axe to grind and too much time on your hands.