Dickinson Moss's Benevolent Fund for Unemployed Hacks

Having emailed the notorious uber-agent Perry Mansell with a request to do lunch, I get this rather aggressive response back instead:

FROM: perry.mansell@closedheadphones.com
TO: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
SUBJECT: Re: Lunch?

I've got an idea for you, you nerdy little prick. I've just come back from a meeting with all the creatives for Children In Need. Mossy was there, as was Gervais, Norton and the rest of the cunts. They want to club together and donate a week of their fees to a benevolent fund for the soon-to-be out-of-work Broadcast Journalists that the Ginger bearded cunt is going to lay off.

Dickinson wants to know if you'd do a programme following his efforts to convince fellow A-list celebrities to do the same?

But we have to call it Dickinson Moss's Benevolent Fund for Unemployed Hacks (D.M.B.F.F.U.H for short) - none of this Save the Journos or fucking crap like that.

You have 1 hour to respond to this email or I'll fuck off and take it to ITV

Perry x

Christ! What a load of shit. Not to mention a complete rip-off of that crudely executed idea over at C4.

I emailed Perry back within ten minutes:

FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
TO: perry.mansell@closedheadphones.com
SUBJECT: RE:Re: Lunch?

Perry

Fantastic to hear from you. I'm honoured that you thought of The Youth Channel as a home for this wonderful idea. Dickinson should be knighted for his selfless actions (by my rough calculations 1 week of Moss could probably cover the salary of 13 Broadcast Journalists, so we're well on our way)

Have you considering getting the likes of Paxman, Moyles, Humphreys or Wogan involved? They earn a wedge (Paxo is on £800k a year I hear) and their involvement would be crucial to the integrity of this Big Thinking project.

I will take this immediately to Fifi and get her thoughts.

Warm regards,
TVC