The dinosaurs are mobilising their forces to take over the fucking Corporation. Roly has been handed the reigns of The Mothership and bloody Entwistle is in the running for the Top Job with a reputation as being a 'moderniser' according to the Guardian.
What the fuck?! No mention of yours truly.
I'd like to think that when it comes to being modern, hip and scratchy™ I have that territory pretty much sewn up. There's only one TV Controller wearing fucking Carhartt in the office today, and it isn't Peter fucking Barron.
Determined not to be left behind I bash out a quick email to the Corporation's headmistress Fifi:
In the short time that I've been here, I hope that my key strengths as a creative leader - not to mention my unbridled enthusiasm for the job - have been apparent.
I've been at the helm of the creative renewal of a channel tarnished by the sordid brush of commercialism, and I am very proud of how the demographic has been envigorated with the exuberance of youth.
We are forging ahead with some key architecture (ie. the rebrand) and building an extremely robust Spring schedule (My web-comedy written by a ten year-old, Lily Allen's Streetz Smartz, Anthea Turner: Perfect Lay and Steven Seagal night - to name but a few)
I'm certainly ready for the next challenge and would hate to be overlooked in the current re-allocation of roles following Peter's unfortunate error of judgement.
Your humble servant,