I really want to muscle in on the crowded docu-drama genre but I haven't got a fucking clue what will resonate with my young, spunky myspace audience.
They don't give a fuck about Tony Blair, Iraq, the Queen or David Blunkett's latest floozie.
But what they *do* care about is getting drunk, taking drugs, going to T in the Park and falling out with their parents because of a difference of opinion over the new Arctic Monkeys "download".
Hardly typical grandad Tony Marchant stuff, but I've thrown £5K his way on a whim anyway and told him in no uncertain terms to think up three of four "shouty docu-drama ideas" by close of play next week.
I'm missing out on this zeitgeist (why don't people use that word anymore??) and need to find something that feels right for me.
No cast-offs and failed ideas please. They've got to strike right at the heart of my "sweetspot" 19-20 year old core viewers, and I've told Marchant to ensure that each drama has at least 4 or 5 amazing YouTube moments – great television my tech-savvy viewers will want to share with their friends.
Bring me something bang on the fucking money for the Youth Channel!!!
11 comments:
My itchy yoof prodco ''Spliff Vomit'' [web site pending] is developing a reality show ''Bonk The Bailiff''
A bunch of nubiles are encouraged to max their credit cards on conspicuous consumption then shag their way out of trouble.
Any interest?
5k won't do it TVC. All the "shouty docu-dramas" will still flow downstream into Horseferry Rd.
Fuck Off Dave - my shit hot yooof (yeah three "o"s. That's copyright right!) indico "Spilt Vomit" [fuck the website, that's old shit] has already fully developed "Bonk for the Bailiff" where a bunch of fit nubiles trained as baliffs and kick down the doors of skanky debt-ridden neighbours and get them to shag each other to get out of trouble.
5K, fuck it! We'll make you an entire series for that. But we ain't coming f'any meetins.
"Itchy"? That'll be the TV induced STDs.
Couldn't be arsed to tell you we lined up Pete Docherty to present. An he ain't doin any meetins eiver!
Screw your 3 ooo's. I have 2 dev execs called Claire and one called Jasper.
If you want a race then bring it on!!!!!
Live abortion - that's what you want.
A live abortion - 'live' from a clinic - its the ultimate docudrama... played out in real time.
Fuck 'Flashmob the Opera' - this is more 'Flash-blob the Abortion'.
We could get that fuckwit who was kicked off Blue Peter to organise some kind of naming competition for the foetus (do you have competitions back on the beeb yet?)
Anyway, I'll have my prod exec work on some OB costs.
I know everyfin about TV. My CV boast a researcher position on The Word and Producer on Big Breakfast. Now I OWN a production company. I kept integrity rather than going the Comm Ed/Exec Prod route.
Bet Claire, Clare and Jasper cost you a fortune. My FOUR dev execs Nik, Nikki, Toby and Ratt all work 24 hours a day for less than minium wage AND I don't pay their mobile bills or any of their other fucking rip of expenses. Two of them are the kids of famous TV people, and the other two are ones we kept on after they did work experience.
We even trained them be letting them read MY copies of these books:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Story-Substance-Structure-Principles-Screenwriting/dp/0413715604/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/026-0088173-2362817?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1193248527&sr=8-1
and
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Video-Production-Handbook-Gerald-Millerson/dp/0240515978/ref=pd_sim_b_2/026-0088173-2362817?ie=UTF8&qid=1193248645&sr=8-1
Breath my dust Dave!!!!!
That cunt Toby. I should have known. But he seemed so nice!
Fucker. You can trade on being an ex academy writer for so long.
Yeah "Trade for so long"; bank the cash, buy a big house and a flat in town then piss the TVC's off by not doing what you're told.
Then all you gotta do is wait for the younger generation to take charge of the asylum. Then put a few "fucks" in the story you've rehashed from an old script that last lot of TVCs didn't like. They think they've rediscovered a legend and you're quids in again.
Get a bunch of kids to run around shooting the stuff, swing into the edit at the last minute make grand gestures, make sure you change things - anything, tell them to use more (or less) music, and make sure you get a the prominent credit for yourself.
Time to boost the pension and clear the shelf for another fucking BAFTA. Because, whilst you've been away, everything else has become so shit it seems your tired old stuff is fresh genius.
Bring on the researcher to producer (via P/D) to series producer to Exec producer to Genre Head in 4 years. That high level of experise will make my fortune (again).
Scooter Gangs.
The dangers and thrills of ferral youth in scooter gangs. Isolated from mainstream society, but secure within their own 'formed' community 'Scooter Youth Gangs' uses REAL GANG MEMBERS to perform an improvised, unrehearsed, fictionalised story of modern life on the estate.
Robbery and escape from the police, spills at they ignore the highway code, love as they have teen sex - all filmed by the teenagers themselves with with helmet mounted cameras.
This is the 21st centry answer to Cathy Come Home. Title sequence by Banksy.
I’m a Young Offender, Get Me Out of Here!
It’s Brat Camp meets Oz. We fit out Feltham with CCTV a la BB, and remove all the wardens [all inmates are fitted with one of these http://www.dogstrust.org.uk/information/poppysopinions/shockcollars/ to ensure directors’ control. Offenders seeded with some attractive and desperate actors, natch].
Psychological meltdown as routine goes to the wind, confrontation between contenders for top dog, the desperate plight of the weak and vulnerable [risqué sex?], etc. Set tasks leading the group closer and closer to escape.
Hosted by Ant ‘n Dec in a sealed booth near the ceiling. With commentary from Vinnie Jones ‘live’ from the floor.
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