Friday, 5 October 2007

Is this my destiny?

Boy, why did I decide to dress like Eminem today of all days?

Camera crews from rival stations are gathering outside the gates of TV Centre because Peter 'The Billionaire' Fincham has fallen on his sword and will be escorted out of the building by security at 4pm.

Fifi is nowhere to be seen, although a highly confidential email addressed to just a few key execs (like me) from Caroline Thomson says "she's safe - for now".

Down the road in West Kensington I hear a tearful Stephen Lambert is packing all of his Wife Swap awards into a cheap backpackers rucksack borrowed from a runner and making for his yacht off Le Cap d'Antibes.

All this just because of a dodgy trailer?


There's an old TV proverb that goes something like 'sniffing the right moment to pounce doth maketh the new controller of Corporation One'.

I lock the door to my office and get the Dark Lord up on speed dial.

"So..." I begin a little hesitantly, "is this my time? Is my destiny upon me already??"

Silence on the other end.

I get a bit more specific: "Should I be gathering my supporters around me? Mending bridges with my enemies?" Still nothing. Getting a bit frustrated, I continue: "Look, James. I suppose what I am trying to say is have I got a chance of making the shortlist to takeover the mothership: Corporation One?"

There's a long, long silence on the other end of the phone. "Hello?" I say in a bit of a nervy, girly voice. Then all of a sudden The Dark Lord breaks into a laugh. And doesn't stop. This cacophony of laughter nearly splits my eardrum. I've never, EVER heard such guffawing come down a phone line like this before.

Why do I even fucking bother with Herring sometimes?

I hang up and call my old boss Kevin Lygo - it goes straight to voicemail.

"Kev, hi, it's TVC. I wondered if you had some time next week for me to ask your advice on something ├╝ber important....."


Anonymous said...

It IS your time. Believe and you will achieve. Kev, James and all the others fear you now. You are The Way, The Truth and not forgeting The Light.

If you hear scurrying in the skirting it's all the rats repositioning. You are the cat. Have the cream.

To quote Arthur C Clarke, "He didn't know what he would do next, but he would think of something".

Anonymous said...

Poor Lenny, poor Angus - they must fear for their commissions now.

1980s broom cupboard said...

BBC Online:--

Mr Fincham had also seen the launch tape three times before he "signed it off", along with two other people from the channel and no-one questioned the content.


Do the two other go too? Will Jana take revenge on Martin Davidson for talking all the way through her RTS speech? I could hardly hear her for his chattering behind me.