Friday, 19 October 2007

Give me back my £10million!

FROM: James.Silver@Guardian.co.uk
TO: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
SUBJECT: Grade


TVC,

Are the rumours true that Michael Grade was hauled in for questioning last night by the Serious Fraud Squad and questioned over how his company was able to fleece the public of £7.8million and get away with it? And how is it that heads haven't rolled over this?

Is it also true that Simon Shaps brought in Paul McKenna to coach Grade in presentation techniques to prepare for yesterday's announcements?

James
PS. Are they going to axe the Youth Channel or not?


FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
TO: JamesHerring@DarkLord.com
SUBJECT: Grandad Grade


Herring

Are the rumours true that Michael Grade was hauled in for questioning last night by the Serious Fraud squad and questioned over how his company was able to fleece the public of £7.8million and get away with it? And how is it that heads haven't rolled over this?

Is it also true that Simon Shaps brought in Paul McKenna to coach Grade in presentation techniques to prepare for yesterday's announcements?

Best
TVC
PS. Why haven't you squashed rumours about My Channel getting axed??

FROM: JamesHerring@DarkLord.com
TO: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
SUBJECT: Re: Grade


I'm busy. Go away.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
TO: Fifi01@Corporation.co.uk
SUBJECT: Youth Channel rumours


Fifi,

Slightly concerned that these vicious rumours about the Youth Channel being axed have been allowed to run in the press unchallenged. Should I meet with Press&Publicity today and draft a swift and unequivocal denial from yourself to run in Monday's
Media Guardian??

Your humble servant,
TVC

FROM: Fifi01@Corporation.co.uk
TO: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
SUBJECT: RE: Youth Channel rumours


Please schedule a meeting for next month with my assistant to discuss this.

FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
TO: All Suppliers; All Commissioning; All Genre Heads
SUBJECT: Don't believe what you read in the papers


Hello.

Despite the unfortunate redundancies and across-the-board programme budget cuts, I'd like to reassure you - our valued suppliers and creatives - that I remain absolutely committed to commissioning the best Itchy™ programmes and finding the best Screamy™ onscreen talent.

The Youth Channel remains very much Open For Business!

I am available next week for face-time meetings to drill down on my 2008/9 Needs List.

Keep the faith,
TVC

FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
TO: Anthea_perfect@aol.com
SUBJECT: your idea


A,
Terrible news - have you seen the papers? I've had £10million slashed from next year's budget and until I have a chance to re-allocate my (meagre) funds, I will have to put a temporary hold on your new development: ANTHEA TURNER BATTLES THE YOSHIMI ROBOTS.
Lunch soon?
TVC x

FROM: TVC01@Corporation.co.uk
TO: personalassistant01@Corporation.co.uk
SUBJECT: crying in the workplace


Anthony,

I know these are difficult times and you're upset about your camp friend in programme finance being given the chop, but we need to keep professional about this. (And not cry all over the level one treatments for next week!)

Imagine how I feel? I've just lost 10 million quid, I've got the Trust poking their noses into all the ed specs for my Autumn 08 slate, my brand manager is refusing to answer my calls and my boss won't meet me, but you don't see me weeping about it, do you?

Your boss (and friend)
TVC

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

"However despite these revelations Grade insisted that the intention was not to mislead or cheat viewers but to make the best entertainment shows". Phwoarr, what a fab keep out of jail free card that is. I wonder if he took legal advice first.

Anonymous said...

The Serious |Fraud Office have their Elm Street HQ just around the corner from Grays Inn Road. In fact their building sits right next to ITV. Wonder if Grade's driver has done the escape and evasion driving techniques course from Pilgrim?

Anonymous said...

"While ITV Productions make the show, Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly do have executive producer credits on the series. Michael Grade said that he had been assured by the duo that they did not know anything about the situation". An insider told me that they got a share of the income. But it's more than likely to be untrue, and I didn't believe it. Not Ant n Dec.

Anonymous said...

Peter Hain on last night's Question Time says the people responsible for Ant and Dec fraud should be "nailed". Nice turn of phrase.

Spruce Bingsteen said...

BOSS CALLS EMPLOYEES BRAINLESS TWATS

Lovely Grade quote on Ant & Dec from today's Guardian:

Mr Grade said that making the pair producers had been a "kind of a vanity credit in their case ... They were more worried about their scripts and their gags than the logistics of how the phones were going to work - that's way beyond their comprehension and responsibility"

Anonymous said...

So, give me a moment to understand... Are you saying that either the top credit is a title not a job description, or that if you're thick enough it doesn't count? So where does that place the last chairman of ITV. What was his name again?

Anonymous said...

There's been a robbery. Quick, someone call 999!

Anonymous said...

grade went straight from the fraud office to white city to "chat things over" with paxman

javascript: void window.open('http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediaselector/check/player/nol/newsid_4670000/newsid_4679900?redirect=4679986.stm&news=1&nbram=1&bbram=1&bbwm=1&nbwm=1','console','toolbar=0,location=0,status=0,menubar=0,scrollbars=0,resizable=0,width=681,height=487')

(fastforward to 19.27)

Thanks to Popbitch said...

Those poor boys, they must be really thick. So many things happening on their show and they don't know about it!

scooper writes
"The early series of Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway featured a strand called Jim Didn't Fix It For Me. People who had written unsuccessfully to Jimmy Saville in their youth could finally have see their dreams come true. During one episode Ant & Dec 'surprised' a member of the audience who'd apparently written to Jim asking to meet the Wurzels. The band came on, and the audience member was filmed capering around on stage with the West Country rockers, ecstatic at finally meeting his childhood heroes!

"But what viewers didn't know is that theaudience member was already pals with the Wurzels. In fact, he'd just written and produced their Christmas single."

Meeja Guardian said...

A Metropolitan police spokesman said: "We await the outcome of the regulatory authority report before making any decision regarding the police investigation. "If there was anything in the report that appeared to be criminal, Scotland Yard, the Serious Fraud Office or the City of London police would investigate."

An Ofcom spokeswoman added: "Where Ofcom finds a broadcaster in breach of its broadcasting code, the details are published in full on Ofcom's website. Consideration of allegations of fraud or whether something warrants a criminal investigation is a matter for the police and not the regulators. If the police decide to investigate, Ofcom will cooperate fully."

Emily Bell said...

The contempt the productions showed for their customers is symptomatic of how little television in particular and media in general understands about the transactional world and the long term damage done to brands and businesses by getting this wrong.