I can see what The Dark Lord is up to: in a perfect world, I get the Mothership job, and Murphy gets his old job back at the Youth Channel. Why else would Herring be orchestrating a campaign for The Smurf to speak out defending My Channel left, right and centre? First it was the Guardian, now it's fucking Newsnight! What next? Going on Dickinson Moss and dancing around with 4 poofs and a piano?
Where was MY fucking invite to appear on Newsnight or even The Heaven & Earth show??
How can I be expected to implement my important creative vision with The Smurf snapping away at my heels like a ferocious pug-faced little Chihuahua! Doesn't The Dark Lord think I'm old enough and strong enough to fight my own corner anymore?
I have decided that the only option I have right now is to abide by Herring's oft-quoted slogan: "keep the cunts you hate closer than the dicks you dislike" (he has this hanging up in his ensuite office bathroom)
You and your team have successfully won our Mexican tender.
Fifi, Ben and myself thought '24hr Mexican Rave' would be a fantastic accompaniment to the next series of Last Twat Standing airing next spring. I love the way we can access the grim poverty of the country through an upbeat mix of hedonistic drugs and music. Let's meet up soon to go over how we can strip it over 2 weeks and build the jeopardy for the live finale.
Also, re: presenters. I have my doubts about Preston from the Ordinary Boys. Can we have a think about someone a bit more screamy™?
Murphy is in my sights now......