Where the fuck is Alex Zane?? I turned up at The Malmaison at 7:45am and he never showed. The skinny arsed little punk is now permanently blacklisted from My Channel - no-one fucking treats me like that and gets away with it.
Not a great start to my important day. To make matters worse, I'm really unsure about this weird fucking T-shirt idea Herring has concocted.
He says I need a cutting edge viral marketing campaign to help raise the profile of my session appearance this afternoon, to "harness the potential" of the event and "seed" my 'itchy' channel message in the media subconscious.
(I barely understand 1 word in 10 when he's in full flow like this...)
"T-shirts attract eyeballs. Eyeballs attract viewers. And, presto! You're front agenda material"
As I write, a shipment of 1,000 'ironic streetwear' t-shirts are winging their way across Edinburgh to the conference centre.
Still haven't seen them yet... and starting to get very fucking nervous.
Herring even wants Kathryn to wear one in my session as she's quizzing me about the Youth Channel's shouty forthcoming Autumn schedule.
Let's hope The Dark Lord knows what he's fucking doing...
4 comments:
I miss The Clangers. Could you get them put on UK gold?
Hardwick House best programme ever ask ITV if you can buy it from them ??
TVC what has happened to the t-shirts? how did your session go? and what's the gossip? are you already up? or still asleep in one of the masterclasses?
What about 'The Herbs' or the slightly scary 'Hector's House' - I think they might be called 'retro-itchy'.
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