Fuck Bear Grylls...I want this guy

I have found the new saviour of TV fakery.

Step forward David George.

Yes, that's right. Mr average, dull, boring suburban name. And a backward farmer by trade.

Yet this man is incredible. Seven (SEVEN??!!) whole days up a tree to avoid being munched to death by a bunch of man-eating evil crocs! Wow.

What I like about this guy is that he's for fucking real. Real death-defying bravery and balls.

None of that Edward Bear Grylls fake-SAS-background bollocks. I'll NEVER let Diverse TV make anything for me again after yet another expose (smoke machines to simulate volcanic fumes?! Jesus. Whatever next? Location Location Location admits phonecalls to estate agents were faked by Kirsty and Phil?)

I am having Georgie Boy fly over to London on a Qantas business class ticket A-S-A-fucking-P (Christ, the poor man could certainly do with some luxury after what he's just been through) so we can sit down and brainstorm some ideas together.

I am thinking of making history by being the first channel to shoot a survival-in-the-wilderness documentary entirely using the very latest mobile phone technology with NO editing (so we can be completely immune from bear costumes, fake raft building and four-star hotel stopovers).

Bring it on!!

PS. Is it cold today or is it just my new pubic topiary??