Friday, 10 August 2007

A day in the life of a zeitgeisty channel

I could get tension myositis syndrome replying to all these emails - 143 yesterday, 111 today... Phew!

Here's a quick sample of yet another super duper busy day as a leading creative visionary of Britain's foremost zeitgeisty digital youth channel:

1) Thommo has sent us all an email: "You may have read press speculation recently that the Youth Channel or the Brainy Channel That Nobody Watches may be axed in a radical new cost saving operation. Rest assured that we will be in full consultation with you regarding these hypothetical radical solutions to our miserable budget shortfall. Carry on as normal."

There is no way Thommo would axe The Youth Channel with my 3 year holistic channel strategy in place. Entwhistle better polish up his CV....

2) Seb Scott writes: "Dave Gravy and I have put our heads together, (b)itchy reality is hot right now with Big Brother. Can we interest you in something similar? 1 Yacht. 10 class-A Paris Hilton rich bitches. 1 eligible rich guy. Who's 70. It's Anna Nicole meets The Batchelor, but not..."

I reply tactfully saying,"Interesting Seb but not quite right. Thanks for thinking of me, TVC".

3) Dan at Scheduling and Planning is pushing for a meeting to discuss more Big Events following Neighbours Weekend: "I've got a bloody good scheduling solution for the underperforming Tuesday 8pm slot." Why do schedulers act like they run the fucking place??

4) Daisy: "I'm thinking of buying this bed. What do you reckon?" I replied indifferently, saying "looks v comfy and stylish, but can you really afford it?" [because I fucking can't].

5) Anthony informed me that Hincksy has cancelled squash AGAIN. He's been sulking since Salopes got the chop. Hope he bloody gets over it soon...

6) Roly wants to meet for lunch to discuss our "channel synchronicity"... but what the fuck does he really want??

7) Gary Reich, the bloke responsible for that horrendous Little Miss Jocelyn asks: "Hi! The 10-minute pilot Julian commissioned for 'Wassup Nigga?' is all done and dusted. When can I come in and show it to you?"

[Seriously - does he really think I can get a title like that away, especially in the current climate??? I'm all for being provocative for the sake of it, but Reich...come on man, and wake the fuck up!]


Anonymous said...

From Dr Schecter's TMS Questionnaire:

Q.10) Has the pain significantly changed or gone away while on vacation, away from home, or while distracted?

A: "Yes. We packed him off to the West Country, but somehow he's made his way back." Jana B.

Harriet Hamster said...

Peter Salmon will be wasting all Tommo's money on Graphics he was always a safe pair of hands at delivering a dodgy Sports Trail, and George Entwistle is multi skiling now there's no Current Affairs to Commission, he is at the Helm of BBC 4 until Janice who invented Daisy's "Homefront" returns from her sabbatical.

Anonymous said...

Seb's been getting the same sort of response from all the other channels he's been pitching that idea to. Perhaps his golden tanned touch is starting to fade.