Wednesday, 1 August 2007

The Legwarmer Revolution

Oh dear. In-house Manchester have just been down and spent an hour pitching their half-baked northern fact-ent ideas. Normally I would have dismissed them outright with a few nonchalant shrugs and some condescending compliments but NO, instead something disastrous happened:

A bloke called Jonny (no 'h') led the pitch, saying their Big Itchy Idea was called "The Legwarmer Revolution" (whatever this means) "an ironic weekly fashion transformation show with a difference" that would "rival How To Look Good Naked."

Yeah, right. Crass AND copycat....yawn.

I carried on checking my Blackberry every 15 seconds just in case anything important came through (had Thommo reacted well to my 'Board of Young Trust' idea?)

Anyway, 'Jonny' continued to bore me for at least two whole minutes before I swiveled my chair in his direction, wiped my glasses clean, and cut him dead with the tricky question: "What talent is attached?"

Quick as a flash he shot back: "We've managed to get Beth from The Gossip to do a 4-minute stateside package each week! MTV wanted to sign her exclusively, but we've snatched her. She's all signed and sealed up."

Beth who???

Jonny gave his colleagues a raised eyebrow and pulled out his mobile to show me a picture of a horrendously overweight lady dressed in a blue leotard. I immediately started to feel violently sick.

"She is so hot right now and really speaks to the Youth Channel audience," Jonny enthused. "Totally the opposite of posh, aloof and untouchable 'rexy'-types like Kate and Sadie."

I was seething.

Why the fuck had I been caught out like this?? I need to keep me finger on the pulse for exactly this kind of horrible scenario. I run the fucking Youth Channel!! It should be my business to know who is fat and hip at the moment.

Why hadn't Anthony informed me about this?! Every since he was re-instated following that unfortunate Memo Mishap, he's been moody, distant and sloppy at best.

To cover my acute embarrassment I immediately gave Jonny and his team a thumbs up and The Legwarmer Revolution is now in development to the tune of £6K.

Lucky northern cunts.


Anonymous said...

Don't worry TVC, The Gossip were a one hit wonder and by the time the show goes out Beth will be forgotten, and you can't have that! You can pull the plug on the development cash as they hadn't future-proofed their talent choice. What they need to do is sign up someone who's going to be 'current' at time of going to air. I'd have thought you'd have spotted that one right away.

wordsmith_for_hire said...

Beth Ditto is doing nothing the Slits weren't doing 30 years ago. She's not only fat, she's a copycat has-been...

Danielle Nay said...

Hmmmm. I was barely born but anyway I don't remember The Slits EVER making a record as fantastic (especially in a karaoke setting) as Standing In The Way Of Control!