Wednesday, 22 August 2007

Lonely at the Top

Many, many years ago when I was just starting out on the road to becoming a creative maverick, my old mentor Goldberg told me: "It's surprisingly lonely when you reach the top, so don't be in any rush to get there, my boy."

Of course I scoffed at the time, but as the recent months have gone by I know EXACTLY what he meant.

Opening my inbox is like unleashing a shitstorm of personal doubt and worry (I notice last night that Fifi personally emailed Kleiny at 11:23pm to congratulate him on Tribe calling it "the best factual series currently on the Corporation").

It would be reassuring, just sometimes, to be emailed by Fifi in this way.....


Or for Execs and P/Ds to email and say how much they enjoyed and benefited from working for me.

It would be even more satisfying, on occasion, for my contemporaries [like fucking Higson, for example] to just admit ONCE IN A FUCKING WHILE that my shows consistently deliver noisy appointment-to-view itchy as fuck grenades that punch through the schedule!!

In my melancholic state, I called Peeptoe Jo into my office:

"I need you to massage my feet Jo. It's been one of those mornings."

She gave me dagger stares, made me kick off my polished brown brogues and got to work, very reluctantly.

Meanwhile I leaned back in my leather chair and focused my eyes up on my chaotic Thought Map, thinking dreamily 'Why oh why did I use use so much red pen???'

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