Squash

At the weekend I sometimes like to do business on the squash court. There's nothing like doing a deal and then getting buck naked and showering with your business partner afterwards. It's something the Dutch call naakt vertrouwen, translated literally to mean 'nakedness builds trust'.

Plus, you feel fucking virile afterwards! Hurgh!

Hincksy had raced into a 8-1 lead but suffered a sudden re-occurence of that mysterious muscle cramp and I seized my chance to fight my way back into (another) 21-9 victory. Considering how much better he is (Under-21 York University champ 1988) I'm amazed at how he never seems to actually win anything.......

After towelling down, conversation turned to visiting the proposed location for Salopes Anglaises next week. Sounds like the perfect excuse to get out of the office. I could certainly use a 48-hour break from the pressures of being one of TV's young starlets, plus Hincksy and I could spend some quality time together.

Me and 'The Hinckster' go way back. I fondly remember the time we sat up late one night round at his flat, munching on Waitrose Nachos with sour cream dip, and discussing what the colour of the leotards should be for My celebrity sports reality show .... oh, happy days.

After the gruelling physical exertion of the morning I spent the rest of the day tuned to the Radio 1 download chart, trying desperately to pick up some 'cool' and 'down with it' band names I could casually throw them into conversation at tonight's VIP Burlesque event. Cooper has told me that the head A&R guy at EMI is hosting it so I've got to be prepared. Memorised the fact that 'Booty Luv' is at number 10.

Haven't decided what to wear yet..... help!!