Wednesday, 11 July 2007

Bye bye Silent Stevie

Oh joy. Oh rapture! First thing today Fifi pulled me into her office [much fucking bigger than mine] to tell me that I needed to cut down my development team - "I know this must be awful for you" - as a show of unity within the Corporation whilst it goes through these tough economical times.

At last - an opportunity to get rid of Silent Stevie!!

Obviously I feigned shock and sadness and she was sold by my stricken grief. She patted me on the arm and said: "If it's any consolation, between you and me I might have to lay off Harry Lansdown. These cuts are tough, and we're all feeling them across the board. Count yourself lucky you've got a channel to run!" [what the fuck was that supposed to fucking mean???]

With that, I thanked her for her honesty, and sauntered back to my [much smaller] office, where I immediately instructed Anthony to gather my lackies together, so I could deliver the news to them straight.

McDonald shuffled in wearing his fucking baseball cap. Jo was wearing a pair of v sexy peeptoe heels, fishnets and sleek beige pencil skirt [there was no way I'd be letting *her* go in a hurry!], whilst Silent Stevie was... well, just Silent Stevie: eyes to the floor, looking pained and lost in his own head.

It was at this point that I knew this would be a fucking piece of piss.

"Troops", I began. "These are difficult times. There is no easy way to say this, but you know how hard I fight for you guys. Stevie, it has been an absolute pleasure, but I'm afraid I am having to let you go. Cutbacks and the like. Please don't think this has anything to do with your inabilities to secure access to that Pentagon gay drug business. Not at all. It's purely first-in first-out stuff. I am very, very sorry it has to end like this."

[I noticed he was weeping a little]

"Jo, give him a hug or something, for fucks sake" I barked. I hate to see staff in tears.

And with that, he was gone. Silent Stevie was no fucking more!!!

How easy was that! Thank fuck for Thommo's botched licence fee deal eh!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

careful now - he might go & start a secret blog (about you..)