Thursday, 19 July 2007

Peter's Mothership

Arrived super duper early at work (6.30am) so I could do a casual driveby past Peter's office and measure up. My limited edition Philippe Starck's would look fucking fabulous by the window.

Sadly, before I had a chance to check out the correct spot for my Yukka (a v thoughtful gift from Michaela after I inherited Uncle Dale's job at C4) I was rudely interrupted by Peter's foxy PA wearing these). WOWSA!

It was only when I got to my (much smaller) office that the joys of a rainy summer evaporated in an instant:

Where was my freshly delivered copy of Broadcast?
Where was my vanilla Yakult?
Where was my stack of Ed Specs needing the ‘tick’ of yours truly?

In fact. Where the fuck was my PA?

Then I remembered yesterday's unfortunate turn of events - the look of betrayal in his poor sad little gay eyes as I told him that he was being suspended (and had security frogmarch him out of the building).

The tough decisions are always the matter how high you reach.

I needed HR to sort out my mess but I was fucked if I could get anyone on the phone. Roly popped his head through the door: “They’re a tad busy with Thommo crucifying that ditzy chap Martin Davidson today. Drafting P45s and the like. Suppose your ‘little’ PA domestic will have to wait”.

Posh cunt doesn’t know who he’s talking to: The future controller of Corporation One. The Mothership. That’s fucking who!!

Swivelled back in my chair and put my feet up on the desk. I fucking love coming to work when the shit hits someone else’s fan. For a change.


Anonymous said...

Morning. All power wil be yours, very soon. By the way, who is Anthony? Is he that small chap with black fair and a squeely voice, who is always mincing around near the club, flicking his head every ten seconds so he can check out who's looking at him?

Anonymous said...

I've got your copy of BROADCAST.

Anonymous said...

Well if Peter is leaving maybe you could borrow his PA?

Anonymous said...

TVC, I see you're not speaking at DIGITAL YOUTH: AUDIENCE CONNECTIONS. For those of use who dream of one day being your PA, this is a professional and personal attack on you.

Somebody is trying to undermine you and get to Peter's chair first. Find out who it is - now. You have friends in on Floor 6. Use them

Anonymous said...

So it was Martin who supervised the Queen fuck-up, poor chap. Won't help his defence that he was rdf's head of factual before he joined the beeb, oh dear.

Anonymous said...

In today's BBC report, "Executive overview of editorial breaches of audience trust, July 2007" there is absolutely no mention of Peter taking responsibility for anything!!!!

Or is at "overview" and not, at this stage, seeking to apportion blame?

In which case, why is great effort made to write, "RDF Media has apologised unreservedly to the BBC and condemned the actions of its employees to manipulate the chronology of the footage."

Not my fault, guv! I'm only the Controller!

Anonymous said...

So what qualifications do you need to replace Anthony? A Media Studies degree and olympic arse kissing skills?

Does one also have to be down with da kidz or is that a requirement for controllers only?

Anonymous said...

I can see your PA Anthony through my glass wall. And I'm at Horseferry Road...

Sir Alan Sugar said...

You was well out of order suspending Anthony. My assistants tell me he's a bright lad and and is talking about applying for an apprenticeship with me. He could do a lot worse. I don't care whether he can spell big words or not.

Nobody makes a fool out of me - even though the edit can sometimes give a different impression.