Wednesday, 4 July 2007

I Got Dem Red Tape Blues

HR Jessica (in hot Prada heels) informs me that Silent Stevie's new 1-year PACT ratified BECTU protected freelancer contract makes it impossible to terminate without evidence of gross misconduct. Had I given him three written disciplinary warnings? Had I sat down with him to issue 'clear and constructive objectives'?

No, I told her, I just want to fucking fire him. Is that so difficult?

She sneers and tells me "this is not the commercial sector" (She says the last bit like it's a dirty word).

No wonder the Corporation is home to so much driftwood! How am I meant to run a tight ship when this kind of red tape makes it impossible to streamline my team?

It turns out that the only way to get rid of Silent Stevie is if he decided to embark on a sustained campaign of sexual harassment followed by the embezzlement of programming funds whilst sitting at his desk stark bollock naked. Or if he decided to take voluntary redundancy.

Hmmm, not to be deterred I start thinking of other ways to persuade Silent Stevie that perhaps TV is not the right career choice.

I like a challenge.


Anonymous said...

OR if he's not got a TV license, or if he's looking at porn on a work computer. They are the only two sure fire ways to get fired ever so slightly quicker in auntie's busom.

Anonymous said...

But then what constitutes him looking at porn on his computer... what if porn was found on HIS computer... if you get my driftwood?

Spangle said...

We've all been forced to research those grim weird sex docs for C4 at some point or other. In fact is there an AP in the industry without porn on their computer