Decommissioned

Just when I thought I had safely navigated the fallout from this Queen fiasco, I have been sucker punched right where it hurts.

My new itchy reality series Salopes Anglaise has been dumped.

Killed off.

Decommissioned.

Fifi sent me a note saying she had discussed this at length with 'Mark and The Trust' and they felt - in the current climate - that Salopes had too many 'artificial conflict situations'.

Yes, I protested, the chav contributors would have to be "carefully manipulated" in order for us to successfully pull off the reality history premise BUT "this was a fully immersible format" that wore "its heart on its sleeve" and "absolutely no-one would have been misled in any way."

But to no avail.

That's 2 months of work and thousands of pounds down the plughole. Fucked. In a heartbeat.

And 10 hours I've now got to fill (somehow) in the schedule...

I'm not ashamed to admit that I feel distraught. There was a hell of a lot riding on Salopes. It was my baby. My way of imposing a new FactLite approach to the overcrowded jungle of formatted reality. It was factual for people who don't like factual. The jewel in my itchy crown.

And now it is gone. Just like that.

All because that rich fucker Lambert pushed his luck one step too far.

I am stunned.

Now I've got the uneneviable task of calling Hincksy with the bad news...

He's going to shove his squash racket so far up my arse I'll be limping for days.