Friday, 20 July 2007

Me & P Diddy

I know a media mogul when I see one. Hello Puffy! Not only is his music fab (I love the swearing! It's so street!) but, like me, he also has his finger on the new media digital pulse.

So I am going to take a leaf out of his book and put a job advert on YouTube looking for a new Personal Assistant. Anthony was OK, don't get me wrong. It's just, well, to be brutally honest: He wasn't great to look at first thing in the morning.

Call me shallow but his face was starting to depress the hell out of me. I looked at Roly's sexy assistant Joanne. I looked at Laura B in Entwistle's office. They are truly beautiful.

Me? I landed up with a man who wears nothing but primary fucking colours. I fucking hate people who wear primary colours.

I have written a simple checklist which says all you need to know:

...Did he fit in with the rigorous platinum standards I set myself as Britain's Yougest TV Controller™? No
...Did he come to work in peeptoe heels? No.
...Did he put his hair up on a friday and surprise me? No.
...Could he recommend a great place for a manicure? Sometimes.
...Would he ever get too drunk at the Christmas Party and let me put my hand on his arse? No.
...Could I surreptitiously catch up on Heat, Ok and Hello? Er, actually yes on this one.

So it's decided.

He won't be coming back and I will find a new bebo generation 19-year-old hottie to fill his clunky size 10 shoes.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Myspaz is so April 2006.

Make yourself a Facebook group for the advert and you'll have hundreds of shameless size-10-shoe wearing 19-year-old hotties waiting to fill the post. or lots of spam from the 'Pan European Lottery' informing you of your winnings.

either way you're onto a winner.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, TVC, this isn't your choice. You've obviously not been at the BBC long enough to realise you have to turn base metal into gold before getting rid of staff. I mean, they can't fire the rubbish. So what hope is there of clearing away a not-quite-what-I-want?

Anyway, for all his faults, Anthony did manage to quash THAT story before it leaked out of the 6th floor... They still look you in the eye, don't they?

Ariel's Editorial Independence said...

TVC, can you use your eyes and ears to find out whether the QUEENIE show will ever be shown?

I cannot believe you would allow such an editorially damaged show to go out on Your Channel if you were Big Boss At 1.

Here at Bvsh, we know you stand for honest and brilliant TV that talks to the young and young alike.