Monday, 9 July 2007

Slap on the wrists

What a terrible start to the week. I was hauled in front of something called an 'Equality Commission' and informed that someone had overheard me calling my idiot gay PA a 'cockface' last week and made an official complaint. Apparently they were offended by the "overt undercurrents of sexual harrassment and homosexual stereotyping".

They wouldn't tell me who I had offended so greatly but if I ever catch the softy liberal son of a bitch I'll have them transferred immediately to BBC4.

There's no room for political correct sensibilities on My fucking Channel! I'm about to launch a schedule busting line-up of adventurous, must-see, in your face programming. And I can't have any weak links in the chain internally whatso-fucking-ever.

Got on to the phone to The Dark Lord (has he been on fucking holiday? I haven't heard from him in weeks) and told him straight: "Hire me the best ex-News of the Screws hack you can find and get them to tap some phones or whatever the fuck they do".

He didn't sound thrilled but I couldn't care less. I pay him well enough as it is.....

I simply must find this mole before things get out of hand.


Anonymous said...

As I am sure was intended, an 'overt undercurrent' would, of course, be merely a currant.

It would therefore be ok to call him 'a fruit'.

Anonymous said...

Did i miss your entry in Guardian's Media 100 today?

Anonymous said...

Darn Facebook.

Anonymous said...

I think you're starting to out cunt the cunt.

Ooh, I smell a backlash Mr Barron.