What a terrible start to the week. I was hauled in front of something called an 'Equality Commission' and informed that someone had overheard me calling my idiot gay PA a 'cockface' last week and made an official complaint. Apparently they were offended by the "overt undercurrents of sexual harrassment and homosexual stereotyping".
They wouldn't tell me who I had offended so greatly but if I ever catch the softy liberal son of a bitch I'll have them transferred immediately to BBC4.
There's no room for political correct sensibilities on My fucking Channel! I'm about to launch a schedule busting line-up of adventurous, must-see, in your face programming. And I can't have any weak links in the chain internally whatso-fucking-ever.
Got on to the phone to The Dark Lord (has he been on fucking holiday? I haven't heard from him in weeks) and told him straight: "Hire me the best ex-News of the Screws hack you can find and get them to tap some phones or whatever the fuck they do".
He didn't sound thrilled but I couldn't care less. I pay him well enough as it is.....
I simply must find this mole before things get out of hand.
4 comments:
As I am sure was intended, an 'overt undercurrent' would, of course, be merely a currant.
It would therefore be ok to call him 'a fruit'.
Did i miss your entry in Guardian's Media 100 today?
Darn Facebook.
I think you're starting to out cunt the cunt.
Ooh, I smell a backlash Mr Barron.
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