Monday, 23 July 2007

Judge Dave Gravy!

I've been thinking long and hard about how the Youth Channel should respond to the supposed lack-of-trust infesting the industry.

Our poor viewers are clueless to the veil of trickery we employ to create gripping entertainment. (No, not the fact Bear Grylls stole everything he knows from Ray Mears - the other stuff).

So I have come up with a new idea:

The Jury of Truth

I make the likes of Dave Gravy and Stephen Lambert take part in a Judge Judy-type show when pitching new ideas to me. We have a jury made up of Youth Channel viewers (all under 25) who decide whether these dicks get the go-ahead.

AND I get to play the fucking Judge. How honest and transparent is that?!

Then in my Judges room, I have Gravy kneel down and BEG ME to commission his show, whilst I sit smugly, looking totally nonchalant wearing a ridiculous white curly wig and puffing on a Hamlet.

Fucking genius brainwave: We could also stream the filming live on the Corporation website so there is no criticism that the footage has been doctored in any way.

Can't really imagine The Dinosaurs (Fincham, Roly, George) being brave enough to do something like this, can you?!


stephen lambert said...

As a middle-aged man myself, I have to say that this is not the sort of programme I would want to watch. I'd like to see less patronising TV. A programme can have broad appeal and not treat people like morons.

As one of the foremost producers of television's most gripping format - the 'manipulated documentary' - I have to say that this kind of unstructured format would never work.

Mark Thompson (Oxford) said...

I see that shit Mark Ravenhill is having a pop at us in the Guardian

Accusing us of being scared of ordinary people - and implying television is made by a bunch of Jeremy's and Jemima's...

Danielle Lux (Somerville - Oxford) said...

It does so annoy me, these kind of barbed comments, I see lots of ordinary people every Saturday in Marks and Spencers Food Hall.

Dawn Airey (Girton - Cambridge) said...

I often shop in Marks and Spencer's as well. You can meet a very nice class of lady in there.

David Frank (Oxford) said...

That cunt Cameron black balled me from the Bullingdon Club. If he can pull the 'ordinary bloke' stunt I don't see why we get all this stick.

PBJ (Drama Society - Cambridge) said...

For Fuck's Sake!

Rowan and I did not amass a fortune from over estimating the intelligence of ordinary people did we?

Look they love that Mr Bean shit don't they?

Jana Bennett (St Anne's College, Oxford) said...

Sometimes I go into Tesco or Asda dressed in a tracksuit just to absorb the cultural zeitgeist.