Katie Hopkins gives me a hard-on

There's a secret tape doing the rounds here on the 6th floor of Katie Hopkins telling Sugar to stick his fucking poxy job where Amstrad doesn't shine. Apparently she was only doing the show to enhance her 'media exposure' (The Series Producer had to intervene and re-shoot the boardroom scene to protect the integrity of the show- and her from a public lynching).

Wow. You've got to admire her large (sexy) bollocks...

Lets face it - who would want to trek out to fucking Brentwood (where is that anyway? Near Essex??) and get paid a lowly £100K to be sirallun's arsewipe anyway??!

I wonder how many of the 5.17 million viewers Peter has been getting for The Apprentice have only really been watching because - like me - they got permanent viagra-like hard-ons whenever Katie Hopkins and her evil, bitchy ways made an appearance on screen?

Yes, she's an über-bitch. And oh yes, she is a nasty fucking cow. But boy, I am *so* secretly attracted to that! Call me *strange* but she looked so fucking hot sat next to that fat brummie cherub Chiles in the after-show schmooze last night on BBC2.

I doubt very much whether anyone in this dinosaur organisation has had the vision and foresight yet to consider giving her a show of her own. SO... I'm going to get my team working up half a dozen noisy and spiky ideas for her to front on My Channel.

Anyway, glad I turned down that horrendous Badger woman last year, who I see has now been reincarnated as some sort of 'business guru' (yeah right) in a cheap and nasty Sky One patronise-ment show.

But I ain't missing out on Mistress Minxy Hopkins - you're gonna be mine baby!!