Something very strange happened to me when I arrived at work today. The dour security guard who nods me in was wearing cricket pads. Reception were kitted out in matching ballerina outfits. I got upstairs to find my idiot PA Anthony in luminous green cycling shorts. The fuckwit had only forgotten to inform me that today was the 29th of June - Wrong Trouser Day - and a fantastic opportunity missed for me to wear my 3/4 length GAP khaki trousers and cement my reputation as being Down With Da Kids.
Bugger!Fuck!Shite!
I had a very fucking important scheduling meeting in three minutes and was about to rock up looking like a humourless stiff who thought he was 'too important' to get involved in a charity event.
What to do????
With some quick witted invention I suddenly remembered that I had put on a pair of pro stretch Calvin Klein's which were long enough to protect my modesty. I quickly stripped down, chucked my trousers in Anthony's direction and sauntered into my meeting....
... to find Roly wearing a kilt, Entwistle in testicle-crushing black leather trousers and Fifi showing off her figure in arse tight jodhpurs (I caught her eyeing up my package and was strangely aroused for a brief guilty moment!).
I sat down, crossed my pasty white legs on the table and leaned back putting my hands behind my head. I hoped that this would exude all the confidence of a metrosexual creative leader comfortable with his own body...
...And not a complete and utter twat wearing his underpants to work.
8 comments:
Are you really Danny Cohen as revealed by Victor Lewis Smith in the Standard yesterday?
more like jamie campbell methinks...
ha ha have you WATCHED 24 hours with. Don't think he's quite up to this
Isn't VLS either. Poor sod's reduced to watching telly instead of making it. Last time I saw him he was googling the net for light bulb jokes!
If you in underwear look anything like the model in the Calvin Klein link you posted, then a) phwoar, and b) drop me an email: I may just be able to schedule you in.
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the image of george entwistle in black leather shorts is even more disturbing than ben gale naked in his wetroom
Hello TVC,
I’ve been a little confused by something and was hoping you could clear this up for me.
Was flicking though the schedules in the paper last night on my way home from work and was checking out the listings for ‘your’ youth channel. I couldn’t help but notice that with the exception of East Enders Revealed (which barely counts as telly) every single show was a repeat. Ever single f*&%ing one?
What on earth’s going on TVC? You’ve been in post for a while now and all you seem to be doing is living of Julian and Stuart’s (?!) old output. No wonder ITV 2, Living and the others are kicking your ass in the ratings.
Come on TVC sort it out. Be brave and commission some original content for fuck sake man!
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