Thursday, 21 June 2007

A lackie tries to humiliate me

There I was with Hincksy at the Air France Business Class check-in desk at Heathrow first thing this morning, looking super hip and sporting my brand new Antler Amario carry-on case when I received a call from someone called Eleanor in Corporation Insurance:

"Mr TVC - I'm afraid to say that you can't travel today. According to the Corporation records, you haven't passed Key Stage Two of Health and Safety (Locations)."

I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing: "I beg your fucking pardon! Is this some kind of wind-up??"

Incredibly, this minimum-wage office slave shot straight back: "A wind-up? Of course not. We take health and safety very, very seriously at the Corporation. Our records show that you have not passed even the minimum H&S requirements to permit insurance coverage for you to inspect a production location, so I'm afraid I cannot allow you to board the aircraft and travel."

I was stunned. What kind of mob was this? Obviously couldn't let Hincksy see my distress and concern, so I shouted back: "I really don't have the fucking time to talk to you about this right now. I AM ABOUT TO STEP ONTO A FUCKING PLANE!! I suggest you call my assistant Anthony right away and deal directly with him." With that, I hung up.

I shall be having some strong fucking words with Fifi about this when I get back. Who the hell authorised such a minnow to ring me and talk to me in that way?? Did she think she was talking to some fucking runner or something???!!!


Andrew said...

That made me laugh.

Kate said...

Randomly came upon this blog, but it is great!

Joe said...

Sounds like BT, British Gas, NTL, Lloyds TSB - fucking minium wage office cunts. "This is not the right department sir" "I do not have the authorisation to do that sir" Why employ a team of monkey fuckwits who aren't authorised to do fuckall!