Thursday, 21 June 2007

A lackie tries to humiliate me

There I was with Hincksy at the Air France Business Class check-in desk at Heathrow first thing this morning, looking super hip and sporting my brand new Antler Amario carry-on case when I received a call from someone called Eleanor in Corporation Insurance:

"Mr TVC - I'm afraid to say that you can't travel today. According to the Corporation records, you haven't passed Key Stage Two of Health and Safety (Locations)."

I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing: "I beg your fucking pardon! Is this some kind of wind-up??"

Incredibly, this minimum-wage office slave shot straight back: "A wind-up? Of course not. We take health and safety very, very seriously at the Corporation. Our records show that you have not passed even the minimum H&S requirements to permit insurance coverage for you to inspect a production location, so I'm afraid I cannot allow you to board the aircraft and travel."

I was stunned. What kind of mob was this? Obviously couldn't let Hincksy see my distress and concern, so I shouted back: "I really don't have the fucking time to talk to you about this right now. I AM ABOUT TO STEP ONTO A FUCKING PLANE!! I suggest you call my assistant Anthony right away and deal directly with him." With that, I hung up.

I shall be having some strong fucking words with Fifi about this when I get back. Who the hell authorised such a minnow to ring me and talk to me in that way?? Did she think she was talking to some fucking runner or something???!!!

3 comments:

Andrew said...

That made me laugh.

Kate said...

Randomly came upon this blog, but it is great!

Joe said...

Sounds like BT, British Gas, NTL, Lloyds TSB - fucking minium wage office cunts. "This is not the right department sir" "I do not have the authorisation to do that sir" Why employ a team of monkey fuckwits who aren't authorised to do fuckall!