Monday, 25 June 2007

Amanda Ross has big bollocks

I am thrilled at how Amanda Ross from Cactus is taking the Fight to The Man. Bring it on girl!

After returning from my French jaunt with Hincksy in a very optimistic mood (buzzing, actually!), I caught up with the Richard and Judy Book Awards on Sky+ and noticed that not only had Amanda given herself her own end board on the final credits, but it was substantially bigger (48point Helvetica?) than all the lackies who had slaved away to put the show on the screen without a hitch.

I so *admire* Execs who have got the guts and determination to take the credit where credit is due.

There I am, slaving away for months and months working with directors and producers who probably hate my guts, and then without so much as a thanks, *they* steal all the glory when a show is transmitted - so it's about time a brave, fearless Exec like Amanda stepped up to the plate and took a bow.

Sent her a quick text: "Amanda, would love to work with you on the Youth Channel. Want to talk?"

It will pay-off in the long run if I can get into Amanda's pants now (metephorically speaking only I hasten to add!) so she'll think of me when Richard and Judy leave Channel 4 next year.

I would love to tempt Richard Madeley (not Judy) to My Channel... he'd be so perfect for a Crimewatch rip-off or consumer 'journalism' studio stunt show.

Imagine the press I would get.....!!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Astonishing:

"...the Cactus Birthday tradition is mine..."

Yes.

And the fog on the Tyne is mine.

So fuck you, Ross. Or I'll put a stop to it.

Anonymous said...

Hi AR,

What a nightmare! Have had a word with Olly at HS. Here's his spiel:
---
"...card with a space in the middle..."

Please define:

i) "Space": lacuna or aperture?

Was the item in question one those cut-out cards in which an ostensibly innocent image is rendered obscene by the process of unfolding?

If that is so, then the cardmaker (Hallmark Cards, Inc., at a guess) did its job perfectly properly in providing such a "space". No cause of action accrues.

ii) "Middle": very vague and difficult to prove. Folded or unfolded? To which of the 3 dimensions is this 'middle' supposed to refer?

Given that a two-leaf card (and I assume that the fucking thing was so constructed) can be opened to any degree between 0 and 360, the "middle" is about as easily ascertained as the length of Lord Eldon's gout-ridden foot. (One for the lawyers there - no, don't thank me!)

In conclusion:

i) A Polo Mint has a space in the middle. And no-one has ever successfully sued Nestle UK Ltd.

ii) Broadway Boogie-Woogie has many apparent "spaces" in its geometry. And no-one has successfully sued Mondriaan (I prefer the original Dutch onomastic form, but suit your fucking selves).

iii) Unless the card at the centre of this cretinous email was in fact a card depicting said Broadway Boogie-Woogie, you haven't got a leg to stand on. Which is unfortunate in a woman of your size.

And stop wasting people's time, you stupid, insecure, bullying cow.
----
Blimey! Bit of a cunt this Olly, if you ask me, AR!

Still nice of him to help. BTW you owe Herbies £2400.

Cheers!
R&J

Anonymous said...

Also

She "came up with the idea" for the Richard & Judy book club.

Which was ripped off shamelessly by Oprah Winfrey, of the Oprah Winfrey Book Club... er... before she 'came up' with the idea.

Anonymous said...

And just has was Glasto?!

cactusboy said...

Next time Judy is feeling tired and emotional and can't make the show Amanda can step in - spitting image or what?!

Anonymous said...

anchor spreadable or utterly butterly?

Five-Centres said...

R&J are very ABC1. Or AB really. Yeah, right.