Saturday 12 May 2007

Blogging when drunk - don't do it!

I don't normally like to drink, but ended up finishing off that bottle of Château Lafite-Rothschild on my own tonight (thank you Kevin - it was his leaving present to me). Bored, so decided to check my account at toyboywarehouse.com. 'HoustonHarley' had written me a message. My heart was pounding. A message. For me. Unread. (I LOVE the uncensored visceral immediacy of the internet) Clicked on it:

"Well, thank goodness at least you're modest!
Harley x "


Straight to the point. I liked this. In my profile for the 'What Do Your Exes Say About You', I've said: "Charming, Bright, Witty, Adventurous, Knowing." Which is true. Then, for the category 'What are You Looking For in the Opposite Sex?', I simply say: "Someone who will appreciate me and admire me for who I am and where I am heading."

I checked her profile again. She's an ex-investment banker, raised in the US, a petrolhead (you what?!). Cue massive gulp of vintage red wine.

Jesus, though, this Mrs Robinson seems to be for fucking real. But sexier, I reckon. And she's proper bullish. According to her, her exes say she's "accomplished, stylish, straightforward, has a razor wit and tremendous sense of fun."

I'm starting to think back to the Film Society nights in my third year at Oxford and the time I saw 'The Last Seduction' staring Linda Fiorentino. That film most certainly awoke my prudish sexuality, and by god did Ms Fiorentino keep me awake at night during my finals....still managed a get a double first though. Anyway, I read on, and HoustonHarley says under the question 'What are You Looking for in the Opposite Sex?':

"Someone with a naughty streak a mile wide. Someone magnetic with tons of presence. A little bit Clive Owen in Closer, a lot James Dean in Giant."

Mmmm. Clive Owen. Must admit (blushing) that I've always secretly thought I have that Clive Owen 'edge' to me, both in look and in terms of presence. Met him at a C4 party once and discovered I was at least half an inch taller than him as well.

But I've got to find a way of talking about this to Michaela. I'm 48 hours away from starting the job of a lifetime, and I get this to deal with. Fuck. How do I play it???

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