Is Sebastian Scott secretly straight?

... The only reason I ask is that he just popped his head round my office door wearing the kind of jacket, jeans and tan combo reserved only for super wealthy Greek yacht owners. Oh-boy-oh-boy-oh-boy! I love spending time with successful people like Seb- be they gay, straight, or whatever. The aftershave of success oozed from his every pore like a semi-naked poledancer.

So, we chatted for ten minutes over a skinny latte (mine was iced).

He asked if his team could come in and pitch me a few 'itchy' reality projects they had been brainstorming. I was impressed (and flattered) by the speed of his response to my new buzzword de jour, so I jumped in and said: "Let's do breakfast at the Wolseley next Thursday?"

Seb responded: "OK.... but sadly Henrietta might not be able to make it, as she's still knee deep in dealing with the Matthew Wright situation at Five (this sounded serious) but I'll bring Dave Gravy along instead." He said this smugly, implying somehow that meeting Dave Gravy was definitely a Very Good Thing to do, although I couldn't fathom why.

"Gravy who?"

Panic flashed across his eyes.

I've seen this haunted look before. This is often the case when bosses suddenly discover that their bullshitting Execs don't know me as well as they pretended to.

"Gravy. Dave. 'Scouser Dave'. You know, the brains behind Faking It and Perfect Match...?"

This did ring a distant bell. I remember Charlotte once warning me about someone called Dave who apparently was the 'laziest cunt in the history of television'. His last three films were practically made by his AP whilst he 'worked from home' on side projects designed to make him rich.

As if I need another TV cunt to have to deal with.....