Wednesday, 30 May 2007

I am an NLP master

I decided to lead a gentle brainstorm-cum-ideas chat this morning with my development team ostensibly to go through the bank holiday papers - but secretly to put them through their paces.

I had taken the unusual step in asking Anthony to join us. I gave him simple (yet highly confidential) instructions to make notes on how the three lackies responded to me during the meeting. He was ordered to watch out for unusual body language, lingering eye contact, involuntary facial ticks etc.

This might sound a little bizarre, but oh no. On the contrary, it is a mark of how progressive I am when it comes to managing and understanding my teams. You see what my former employers at Horseferry Road don't know about me is that six months back I attended a four-day intensive NLP course in Aberystwyth.

It resulted in me making friends with a very attractive (yet mature) lady called Natalie who works as an NLP master practitioner out of a very plush office in St Johns Wood.

Now there is nothing I don't know about the hidden psychology of pitching!

Natalie believes that measuring the reactions and mood of my staff during my first 'formal' session with them will reveal an awful lot about how they view me, but more to the point how they feel about me. Vital if I'm to have a tight, loyal ship that I can mould to my exacting needs.

During the meeting I picked up on the following:

1) McDonald and Jo have got a 'thing' for each other
2) Silent Stevie uses a 'visual language' eg. 'I see where you're going with this' when he talks about ideas - which is a good sign.
3) Jo 'swished' Silent Stevie TWICE to assert her authority and distract him from the 'anchor points' he was trying desperately to make about Tre from The Apprentice
4) Anthony is not 100% gay. He possibly has bisexual tendencies judging by the amount of time he spent (along with me) staring at Jo's sexy knee-high boots.

Natalie has promised to comprehensively analyse Anthony's notes and get back to me ASAP. She's a gem!

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