Anyway, I know that it's a Bank Holiday (which I fucking hate) so got up in the middle of the night to go and play with my Blackberry.
I had seven new messages, but the one I scrolled down to first was from Kevin. I took a deep breath and hit 'open'. It read:
Out of Office AutoReply: What's all the fuss about?Out of the fucking country??? What, when you've got an Ofcom crisis to deal with?! Ridiculous. It would never be like this if I were Director of Television.
Many thanks for your email. Kevin Lygo is now out of the country at the LA Screenings. He will be back in the office on Tuesday 29th May.
For anything urgent please contact Helen Pickett at email@example.com or 077*3 321 ***.
I went to my fridge and poured myself a glass of organic semi-skimmed milk. "Cheers Kevin!"
In about two years his job will be mine. And he fucking-well knows it.